Motorists have reacted with disbelief after a town centre car park introduced a £5 Information Access Fee simply for reading the sign that explains how much parking costs.
The charge was introduced by EasyPark Solutions, whose management claims that pricing information is a valuable service that should not be given away for free.
Albert Immerson immediately drove to the site.
Unfortunately, the investigation cost him £27 before he got out of the car.
Welcome to EasyPark
As Albert entered the car park, he noticed a large sign.
PARKING FROM £1
Beneath it, in considerably smaller writing:
Terms, Conditions and Reality Apply
Albert parked and walked towards the tariff board.
Before he could read it, a payment machine flashed:
TARIFF VIEWING FEE — £5
Albert assumed it was a joke.
It wasn’t.
What Are the Prices?
Albert reluctantly paid.
The tariff board revealed:
First 15 Minutes — £1
1 Hour — £8
2 Hours — £15
All Day — £40
Reading Tariff Board — £5
Reading Tariff Board Twice — £3
Looking Confused — £2
Taking Photograph of Tariff Board — £10
Albert looked confused.
The machine immediately beeped.
£2 Added.
The Customer Experience
Motorist Derek Wheelman had parked for 20 minutes while collecting a prescription.
His bill totalled £19.
Albert examined the breakdown.
Parking — £8
Tariff Viewing — £5
Returning to Double-Check Tariff — £3
Looking at Clock — £1
Exiting Slowly — £2
Derek shook his head.
“I was only here for twenty minutes.”
The attendant nodded sympathetically.
“Many people say that.”
Premium Parking
Customers wanting a more luxurious experience can join the car park’s Gold Membership Scheme.
For £29.99 per month, members receive:
One free tariff board viewing.
Priority access to payment machines.
Discounted confusion charges.
And two complimentary appeals per year.
Albert asked whether the appeals were successful.
The attendant laughed so hard he nearly dropped his clipboard.
The Appeal Process
Albert decided to challenge one of his charges.
He entered the appeals office.
A sign greeted him:
APPEAL SUBMISSION FEE — £15
SUCCESSFUL APPEAL PROCESSING FEE — £25
UNSUCCESSFUL APPEAL PROCESSING FEE — £25
Albert studied the notice.
“So whatever happens, I pay £25?”
“Correct.”
“What if I withdraw the appeal?”
“Appeal Withdrawal Fee.”
“How much?”
“£25.”
The Exit Barrier
After completing his investigation, Albert returned to his car.
The payment machine calculated his stay.
Parking — £8
Tariff Board — £5
Confusion Fee — £2
Appeal Enquiry — £15
Exit Barrier Usage — £3
Card Payment Fee — £2
Receipt Printing Fee — £1
Declining Receipt Fee — £1
TOTAL: £37
Albert paid.
The barrier remained closed.
A message appeared:
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PAYMENT
BARRIER OPENING FEE — £5
Albert closed his eyes.
The Ultimate Discovery
Before leaving, Albert asked the manager why reading the tariff board cost money.
The manager smiled proudly.
“People need information.”
“Yes.”
“Providing information is a service.”
“Yes.”
“So we charge for it.”
Albert pointed at a large sign saying:
FREE PARKING INFORMATION AVAILABLE HERE
“How much does that cost?”
The manager checked.
“Five pounds.”
DODGY RATING: 10/10
Albert awarded maximum marks after discovering EasyPark’s latest innovation.
From next month, drivers will be charged:
£2 FOR REMEMBERING WHERE THEY PARKED
Customers unable to remember will receive a complimentary map.
The map costs £12.
Albert eventually escaped the car park after paying £42.
He later received a letter demanding another £60.
Apparently he’d exceeded the Maximum Permitted Tariff Reading Time by three minutes.