Fraudsters Sell Lifetime Supply of Fresh Air for £399

Customers receive an empty box, a certificate of ownership and instructions to “inhale responsibly.”

Trading Standards has launched an investigation after thousands of shoppers reportedly paid £399 for what was advertised as a “Lifetime Supply of Premium Mountain Air.”

The company, FreshAirForever.co.uk, claimed its exclusive product was collected every morning from “the cleanest mountains on Earth by specially trained oxygen technicians.”

Customers were promised:

• Unlimited fresh air.
• Improved breathing.
• Reduced stress.
• Increased happiness.
• Air that had “never been breathed by politicians.”

Orders flooded in within hours.

When the parcels finally arrived, buyers were surprised to discover each contained an attractive wooden presentation box…

…which was completely empty.

Instead, inside was a gold certificate reading:

Congratulations!

Your lifetime supply of fresh air has already been safely released into the atmosphere for maximum freshness.

The company insisted customers were receiving exactly what they had paid for.

“Our mountain air has been carefully dispersed across the United Kingdom,” a spokesman explained.

“You are now free to breathe as much of it as you like.”

One delighted customer from Yorkshire admitted,

“I stood outside for ten minutes taking deep breaths.”

“I’ve no idea if it was their air, but it certainly tasted expensive.”

Another customer proudly showed neighbours his luxury presentation box.

“It’s reassuring to know I own premium oxygen.”

Experts later confirmed he was standing next to a dual carriageway.

To increase sales, the company introduced several premium upgrades.

For an additional £99, customers could purchase:

• Sparkling Air.
• Vintage 1998 Alpine Breeze.
• Organic Vegan Oxygen.
• Limited Edition Gluten-Free Atmosphere.
• Air personally approved by wellness influencers.

The firm’s top-selling product, however, proved to be the Executive Platinum Air Subscription costing £999 per year, guaranteeing customers “priority breathing.”

Scientists admitted they were struggling to understand exactly what that meant.

One reviewer gave the product five stars, writing,

“This is the best air I’ve never seen.”

Another added,

“I was sceptical until I opened the empty box.”

“The freshness escaped immediately.”

Consumer expert Brenda Lawson said,

“We’ve seen people buy bottled moonlight, anti-5G crystals and invisible Wi-Fi protectors.”

“But charging hundreds of pounds for absolutely nothing is certainly ambitious.”

Police believe the scammers are already developing a range of exciting new products, including:

• Luxury Darkness in a Jar.
• Authentic Scottish Silence.
• Premium Left-Handed Rain.
• Refillable Vacuum.
• Bottled Weekend Lie-Ins.
• Collectable Limited Edition Empty Boxes.

”If someone offers you a lifetime supply of fresh air for £399, remember this… you can usually get exactly the same product simply by opening a window.”