Luxury Invisible Car Insurance Firm Pays Out Absolutely Nothing
Customers delighted to discover their invisible vehicles are fully protected… unless they need to make a claim.
By Albert Icky Bicky, Scam Correspondent
Trading Standards has launched an investigation into what experts are calling one of the most imaginative insurance scams ever devised after thousands of motorists purchased policies to protect their invisible cars.
The company, Now You See It Insurance Ltd, advertises itself as “Britain’s leading insurer of vehicles that cannot be seen.”
Its glossy website promises:
“If you can’t see your car, neither can thieves.”
The slogan has reportedly attracted over 75,000 customers.
For an annual premium starting at just £299, policyholders receive:
- Fully comprehensive invisible cover.
- Invisible windscreen protection.
- Unseen breakdown assistance.
- Ghost parking protection.
- Theft cover for cars that were never visible in the first place.
The company even offers a premium Platinum Phantom Policy, which includes invisible roadside recovery.
According to the brochure, if customers break down, “one of our invisible recovery vehicles will arrive shortly.”
Nobody has yet confirmed whether one ever has.
One delighted customer from Birmingham said,
“I’ve never seen my car damaged once.”
Another proudly explained,
“It’s been parked outside my house for three years and nobody has stolen it.”
Investigators later discovered he didn’t actually own a car.
The problems only began when customers attempted to make claims.
One man reported that another invisible vehicle had driven straight into his invisible Bentley while it was parked outside an invisible supermarket.
After a lengthy investigation, the insurance company replied,
“Our inspector visited the scene but was unable to locate either vehicle.”
Another claimant insisted his invisible Ferrari had been stolen.
The claims department responded,
“How do you know it hasn’t simply become even more invisible?”
The company has rejected every claim submitted so far.
Its official explanation states,
“There is currently insufficient visible evidence.”
Consumer rights expert Brenda Lawson said,
“This is one of the easiest businesses ever invented.”
“You collect premiums for something nobody can prove exists, then reject every claim because nobody can prove it existed in the first place.”
Despite mounting criticism, customer satisfaction remains surprisingly high.
One policyholder told reporters,
“I’ve saved thousands in repair bills.”
When asked how, he replied,
“Nothing ever seems to happen to my invisible car.”
The firm has now expanded its product range to include:
- Invisible Caravan Insurance.
- Ghost Motorcycle Cover.
- Imaginary Pet Insurance.
- Accidental Unicorn Protection.
- Extended Warranty for Time Machines.
- Comprehensive Cover for Flying Pigs.
The Financial Conduct Authority has confirmed it is “looking very carefully” into the company.
Unfortunately, investigators have so far been unable to find its offices, which, according to its website, are located in an exclusive invisible business park somewhere in the Home Counties.
Icky Bicky offered one final word of advice.
“If an insurance company promises to protect something you can’t actually see, the only thing that’s guaranteed to disappear is your money.”